Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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