K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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