i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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