I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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