The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
A+ Viking dick
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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