I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
