a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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