he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
