just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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