You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
