I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
