Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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