Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
