Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
