Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
