I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
