She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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