Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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