chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
