You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
