just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
