Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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