Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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