thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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