i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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