so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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