God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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