you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
