oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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