I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
