sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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