she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
