She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
