do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
