I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
