u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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