So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
