nut hugger
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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