Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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