Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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