how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
