i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
