4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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