my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do vagina's smell?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
