Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
