I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
