Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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