put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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