i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
