Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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