I want to stick my p in your. b.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize