omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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