She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
