You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
